The Tree

Apple Tree

Recently I have been missing something, something that is a clue to moving forward in my life professionally and personally. My inspiration came whilst sitting quietly by my apple tree in the back garden.

Yesterday, I sat on my bench under the incredibly old apple tree, crooked, covered in ivy but still blooming (just).  As I sat there, I felt an amazing warmth coming from the bark , I closed my eyes and listened to the birds who gather within her , the sound of the last drops of the rain on the leaves as the breeze soothed my troubled mind.

I took my attention to the tree at a deeper level and tried to feel her, connect with her. I could not sense her, she was like a strong presence on the surface but non-existent at a deeper level …it was puzzling. I looked at the tree and saw how she was covered with moss, ivy and other plants, it looked beautiful but she was giving her nutrients, her life force but I realized also this was to her detriment, she was giving too much and was tired. Her blooms looked fresh and strong but as with the last four years, they very rarely manifest into apples… I was beginning to see the parallel and as I saw, so I felt the tree’s energy, she was showing me what I had missed in myself and the more I understood , the more she let me feel.

In the past, I used to define how good a person I was in how much I did for others, years of family conditioning telling me how I was not a good person was being balanced by giving as much of myself as possible. I love helping others but have realized over these last eighteen months I needed to come from a place of greater discernment and from a place of intelligent love and this did not mean giving so much of myself.

As each piece of understanding began to slot into my mind so the energy of the tree seemed to open up and I felt a connection with her.

I saw her beauty and how she was happy to give so much of herself but there comes a time when the ivy and moss needs to be stripped off , to allow her to breathe, to gain strength to allow her blooms to manifest into those apples… which feed and nourish also, they are her fruits, her own fruits… and now I see it.

As I tend the tree, stripping away the vegetation and tending her, so I will breathe and grow also, time to show my bark /skin and change.

Tags: inspiration, Meditation