The theme of the last few weeks seems to be very clearly for me about personal boundaries, people who take advantage and push to the point that I have no option but to become firm or walk away. It is a reoccurring theme with me over the years and I guess from my past it is no surprise it is a slow process of learning and strengthening boundaries on all levels .I have come a long way to be honest, and what I allow now in my life is protected by some very firm fences without a doubt but these last few weeks have shown me that maybe, I am not as good at the fence maintenance as I thought!!!

What is it about others who choose not to hear or respect who one is and what one stands for…how loud or assertive do we really need to be to establish and maintain this respect? Only a few weeks ago and feeling t quite exhausted propping up those personal boundaries, the lessons were coming in fast and furious and still I was missing something that was not allowing the penny to drop.

It was not until world peace day, when I sat to meditate that the penny dropped. As I sat with my thoughts I realised how many of the thoughts were not peaceful at all, they were all about the people over the last few weeks that had ignored my fences and I was unable to really let go it. I realised that I was being the “warrior of truth” the one who became the martyr to a cause, but underneath it was causing unrest and I was expecting others to behave to my standards or moral /professional code. What became accentuated was that my expectations on others were actually just the same as others crossing my boundaries. How could I move forward with this awareness because quite frankly, at the moment I was sitting on world peace day with the intent to send out peace and loving thoughts but my mind was a tornado about to explode.

The last piece of the jig saw puzzle finally arrived as I became aware that all I should be concerned with is ME, nobody else. It is about knowing what is acceptable for me and appreciating that I have no business thinking that I know what others should or should not be doing/saying etc. If I don’t like the behaviour of someone, it is about just walking away and letting go. Creating the world around me in which I choose to live in.

My way is a different way, the right way for me at this moment in time but others have different ways and that’s ok for them. Real strong boundaries are about accessing a real core of inner acceptance that I am OK.


About the Author

I have been a practicing therapist for twelve years specialising with women’s issues and young people. I believe everyone is unique and I tailor therapy to my clients individual needs using a range of techniques and skills.