Attitude – your choice

There seems to be a real theme with regard to walking my talk over these last few months, what with a health scare which I am planning to blog once my brain has got to grips with the whole experience, but this week it has been my attitude and those of others.


We can choose to be in living hell or heaven depending on our attitude towards our life’s circumstances. This does not mean we will not suffer and bad things will not happen to us because quite frankly I feel that’s part of life’s lessons but how we choose to look upon each obstacle will help us or hinder. I believe Victor Frankl put this so well in his book;

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

I found myself becoming more and more frustrated with an interaction with several different people in different circumstances. My mental unrest was creating a huge discordance within me and the angry conversations I had to myself seemed to become more frequent with regard to these people who had emerged into my existence. I blamed them and felt sorry for myself until I sat to meditate. I decided to use the loving kindness Meta (Mettā – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia).

I started my Meta and as always sent meta to myself, loved ones strangers and so on. I connected with each person who was causing me difficulty and sent them health, peace and happiness, I felt their pain and realised they did not have peace, health or happiness as they would not behave in such a manner; they were in pain which allowed my compassion to bubble upwards and offered a space in my heart to send them the meta with true love and feeling.

An opportunity to connect

On completing my meditation I realised what a gift these people have given me, an opportunity to connect with this feeling and as I went out of my meditation space, I felt happier and brighter. Straight away I came across one lady that I had been struggling with and I realised I was smiling, all anger or fear seemed to dissipate and life seemed to appear rosy again and this can only help the other person and maybe even the greater good?

I understand that when we are in physical or emotional pain for whatever the reason, it is hard to see through this and connect with the concept above but I have seen people in the most dire consequences who seem so positive regardless and others whose lives don’t seem so bad but they cannot see the beauty or joy around them… We all dip into both these mental states from time to time; perhaps we need to practise this meta to help us through those darker times or maybe just simply practice this meta regardless…

On an even lighter note, studies have shown that practising the loving kindness meditation can raise our oxytocin levels which is responsible for the ageing process and helps foster a sense of social connection which improves depression.

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About the Author

I have been a practicing therapist for twelve years specialising with women’s issues and young people. I believe everyone is unique and I tailor therapy to my clients individual needs using a range of techniques and skills.